Thursday, August 06, 2015
Toddler Babbles
T: "Baby Pee!" says the 13-month old in his high-chair. (No, he didn't make a sentence knowingly.)
OM: "Did you pee, T----?"
T: "Jumbo!"
OM: "Did you pee, T----?"
T: "Jumbo!"
Friday, July 10, 2009
Is this poison ivy?
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
I would say...
"I would say... I'm in my mid-thirties...", said Bernhard, Age 35, in all seriousness.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Moo
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Karma (Don't wonder aloud)
My buddy told me this story today:
He was having an awesome day. At about 8pm, when he and friends sat down to dinner and started eating, he asked out loud, "Can this day get any better?" As he asked, he bit his tongue, causing a small piece of skin to fall off. It pained him for the following three weeks.
He was having an awesome day. At about 8pm, when he and friends sat down to dinner and started eating, he asked out loud, "Can this day get any better?" As he asked, he bit his tongue, causing a small piece of skin to fall off. It pained him for the following three weeks.
Friday, December 15, 2006
A sighting
A tow truck hauling a tow truck towing a USPS vehicle.
Yes, that is two tow trucks there.
Yes, that is two tow trucks there.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
How to Pet a High Strung Cat
I found this on the HowTo Wiki. If you have ever owned a cat, it is hilarious. (in my opinion, of course).
1. Find your cat. If he or she is not readily visible, they may be hiding. Remember, cats can fit into seemingly impossible spaces, so check everywhere, including small crevices.
2. Once you've located him/her, sit down on a nearby piece of furniture.
3. Call your cat's name. They will respond either by looking at you; turning an ear in your direction; pausing from current activity (such as cleaning themselves); or slowly getting up, stretching, and leaving the room.
4. If he/she leaves the room, pause, take a deep breath, and start over at step 1.
5. If he/she acknowledges you, begin to pat your knee and call him/her again in a pleasing, high-pitched voice.
6. The cat should now be looking at you. If it turns away, make strange noises, like bird chirps, to regain their attention.
7. Increase speed of knee patting and tension in voice. At this point, your cat will probably move a few feet farther away from you.
8. Stop patting your knee and stand up. Pretend that you are looking at the ceiling. Slowly make your way towards the cat. It will probably stand, stretch, and leave the room.
9. You have your cat right where you want it, believe it or not. Return to your piece of furniture. Sit down calmly.
10. Open a book or magazine and begin reading silently. Really get into your reading material. Focus all your attention on it, ignoring the cat totally.
11. Out of nowhere, your cat will suddenly appear on top of said reading material.
(there were three more steps here, but they were boring and less funny. To see the entire wiki, go here: http://wiki.ehow.com/Pet-a-High-Strung-Cat
1. Find your cat. If he or she is not readily visible, they may be hiding. Remember, cats can fit into seemingly impossible spaces, so check everywhere, including small crevices.
2. Once you've located him/her, sit down on a nearby piece of furniture.
3. Call your cat's name. They will respond either by looking at you; turning an ear in your direction; pausing from current activity (such as cleaning themselves); or slowly getting up, stretching, and leaving the room.
4. If he/she leaves the room, pause, take a deep breath, and start over at step 1.
5. If he/she acknowledges you, begin to pat your knee and call him/her again in a pleasing, high-pitched voice.
6. The cat should now be looking at you. If it turns away, make strange noises, like bird chirps, to regain their attention.
7. Increase speed of knee patting and tension in voice. At this point, your cat will probably move a few feet farther away from you.
8. Stop patting your knee and stand up. Pretend that you are looking at the ceiling. Slowly make your way towards the cat. It will probably stand, stretch, and leave the room.
9. You have your cat right where you want it, believe it or not. Return to your piece of furniture. Sit down calmly.
10. Open a book or magazine and begin reading silently. Really get into your reading material. Focus all your attention on it, ignoring the cat totally.
11. Out of nowhere, your cat will suddenly appear on top of said reading material.
(there were three more steps here, but they were boring and less funny. To see the entire wiki, go here: http://wiki.ehow.com/Pet-a-High-Strung-Cat
